After helping get the baby ready for bed tonight I went down to our apartment’s fitness center to work out. I haven’t worked out in a long time. I’ve had a narrative in my head that I don’t have time to work out because work is so demanding / work is so demanding so I’m too stressed out to exercise.
By default many nights I was dulling the stress and anxiety of work with a beer or two (or three or…). It was so hard to get started. After working in a high stress environment all day, commuting home (currently have a commute while we live in TX for the year… wtf was I thinking?), playing with my son, dinner, and getting him ready for bed, I was exhausted. And I still hadn’t decompressed from the stress of the day.
Getting calls from my boss at 8pm for “urgent” issues really doesn’t help that feeling, but that is a subject for a different blog post.
But I’m trying to make some changes and be more intentional, with recent efforts to:
- Learning how to play guitar;
- Undertaking a dry January;
- Starting to exercise;
This post is about exercise, so let’s get to it. I went to the fitness center and there was only one other person there, on a treadmill, which was great so I had the entire weight lifting area to my self.
I started with some squats, first a set of 10 with the barbell only to warm up, then another with 50 lbs added on which I repeated 2 sets of 10 reps, and finally I did a final set with 70 lbs.
As a side note I used to be a competitive olympic-style weightlifter. Competed in junior nationals among other things, but I’ve let that part of my identity fade away over the years. When I first got under the bar and lowered down I could feel my legs shake a bit, a creak from my knees, but then the familiar motion kicked in and I felt good. I love squats with heavy weights.
By the 3rd set my legs were getting sore, and I now they are going to hurt tomorrow. because I swear I could feel the micro tears in my leg muscle… AND IT FEELS FUCKING GREAT!!!
I feel great because I started and I know this is the beginning of building a habit, because when I lift I’m in the moment and not anywhere else: my anxiety goes away. I feel great, because I know this is what I need to be doing to make my life better and to build long-term happiness.
And I’m just (finally) getting started.